The Me Hidden Within

This season is the time for happiness and cheer,
But look through my eyes and you will see a tear.

The words that I speak are never to be heard,
And all I want from you is your promising word.

No one ever listens to a word that I say,
All I need is for someone to point me into the traveling way.

Having no one to talk to makes the anger build within,
So I think hard and loud knowing I need to raise my chin.

I fight with myself all the time,
Wanting to do something but knowing it's a crime.

I just want all this anger within me to just come out,
I have this huge urge just to shout.

I just want to release the real me from being hidden within,
Sometimes I think all the things I do are a sin.

Please help release the me hidden within.

My life as an undergraduate.....so far

I think this is gonna be a very short post but better than none right??

This is already the 4th week since my classes started and I gotta say it's not as easy as what people say.Whoever says life in the varsity is easy and carefree,it's bullshit.

First let's talk about the lecturers.

MAA101(Calculus) lecturer : Pn. Ena Jamal
-buck-toothed,fat,bespectacled
-teaching is kinda sucky
-like what kit says,maths wannabe trying to teach maths
-however I don't bear any hatred or grudges against her

KAT141(Analytical Chem) lecturer : Dr. Norita
-looks holy(because of the long headscarf),bespectacled,pouty lips and has a sexy mole
somewhere near her lips
-teaching is good but too fast
-i somehow enjoy her lessons

KTT111(Inorganic Chem) lecturer : Prof. Farook Adam
-white-haired and white-bearded,again bespectacled,has 2 funny roundish thingy on his
forehead
-teaching at an acceptable pace,quite a nice lecturer
-enjoy his lessons too

LKM400(BM) lecturer : Pn. Rose
-bespectacled again(sien),has a mouth where the moment you see it,you know it's a chiak po's
mouth
-fierce and likes to curse her student to fail
-NEVER will like her lessons
-just feel so unlucky to get her as my lecturer because all other BM lecturers seem good based
on what my friends told me

BOI104(Genetics) lecturer : Prof./Dr. Azizah (not so sure)
-young and pretty,speaks good English
-teaching is okay but boring,not half as good as Doreen
-feels sleepy in her class

WUS101(Entrepreneurship) lecturer : Unknown (not interested to know either)
-don't even know how to describe him cause i don't look at nor listen to him

I hope my explanations are good enough for you to understand and visualise what each of my lecturers are like.
Next we move on to the assignments.First week was quite free as there were no assignments but come week 2,assignments start pouring in.It's like I have something to do everyday but the sad thing is I get lazier and lazier.I feel so burdened to do the assignments.Another thing is we have to study consistently because whatever the lecturers teach is just a gist of that particular topic that he/she is teaching.Everything else is on our own.
As you all may have already known,I'm the type of person that only studies like mayb 2-3 weeks b4 exams.So,this kind of studying condition is not very well suited for me.And guess what,there is gonna be a test next week.Ugh...

Life is such a big burden T_T

Home Sweet Home?

Finally I'm back from the horrible orientation week in USM.Actually I was already back on Thursday but because of my laziness I only started to blog about it today.So what's the orientation like you may ask???From the 1st sentence you can already see the word 'horrible' but then horrible can be not-so-horrible,okay-horrible,horrible-horrible and extremely-horrible.I think it was a combination of all the horribles you could have imagined of.

The people there?I hate,I loathe and I despise.Especially the Ms.Not even a word of simple English they can understand or speak.Well not all of them but most are like that.Mei Ying told me there was a gaogao PPMS bobo who spoke to her in Mandarin but she replied her with "I can only speak English".The bobo just shut her mouth and didn't know what to say.Damien spoke English to 1 of them but it took 5 people to understand what he was saying,so he told me.The talks were all conducted in BM and omg you wouldn't know how excruciating it was.There are international students for God's sake.Try not speaking your fucking language.Respect those international students.Imagine if you're in a talk where the speaker talks in a language that you don't know of,how would you feel???And what's more is you gotta attend these kind of talks everyday for a whole week.That's about the Ms.
The Cs??A lot of attention seeking people.Many are trying to act gaogao.I don't even feel like I wanna make friends with them.Again not all but many.

The food?I'm not a very picky person but then eating their food everyday is kinda down leh.Everyday spicy food.But luckily me n ZX 'prison-broke' out of USM on Tuesday and went to find Hock.Along with CS too we went to some place where we can eat human food.The 2 hours of prison break was the happiest moment in that entire week.

The hostel??Cannot swim at all.I have no intentions to stay there for a whole semester.Enough said.No where is better than home.


So my class officially starts tomorrow and I gotta say it's not gonna be a very pleasant day cause Im gonna be there for like 12 FUCKING HOURS.Stupid night class.Gonna miss my drama.

And now I'm feeling very depressed and hopeless.Yea I know I'm always feeling like that but I can't help it.I'm too afraid to live my own life.Is there a cure to that???If there is please tell me.
I wish I was someone else....

Lost : Balik Pulau

I've been wanting to write this post a few days ago but have been delaying it.I feel it should only be right for me to complete this post now.

Nope,it's not the Balik Pulau version of the hit ABC drama series Lost.It's about 3 noobshits finding their way through Balik Pulau to reach the Island College of Technology(ICT).

Hock and I have decided we should have a backup plan for our tertiary education in case we don't get a place in the local varsity or we don't get the courses that we want which has a high possibility of happening.And now that I found out I didn't get any offer from NUS,this backup plan is much needed(I'm gonna try appealing though).So we met on Tuesday afternoon to go to that college together and ask about the courses available.And these 2 noobs thought that each other knew how to go to Balik Pulau but in fact neither knew.But nevermind,can always call people and ask right.I called Chie Siang 1st cause he told us to ask him if we don't know the way but guess what.....

Dudu.......dudu.......dudu......

Chie Siang answers.......

Chie Siang : hello

Kah Whai : hello Chie Siang ah...

Chie Siang : ah Kah Whai....oo hamisu bo(yes Kah Whai....anything?)

Kah Whai : boh la wa boay mui lu the ICT an chua ki..(no la I just want to ask you the ICT how to go..)

Chie Siang : err Kah Whai ah wa ti cho kang tiau la(err Kah Whai I'm working now actually)

Kah Whai : oo ane ah biau kin la(oo like that ah nevermind la)

Chie Siang : sorry hah bye bye

Kah Whai : bye bye

So...how ah???The one promised to help didn't help...shit you la Chie Siang(hehe just joking ne I'm supposed to say sorry for disturbing you working..lol).

Then Hock called Teik Loon and asked.Teik Loon said just go straight from Apek's house we will find Balik Pulau d but the info wasn't enough for us to find ICT.I called Apong but he didn't know either.No one knew and we just sat in the car wondering what to do.And suddenly I had this idea..

Kah Whai : abo wa lang ki chai Apek ki la...kum pun ka liao lang bo tua choo beh Dota pun(Why not we go and fetch Apek and

and go with us...nobody for him to Dota with anyway)

Hock : ok lor....

And off we went to Apek's house.Coincidentally his dad came home for a while and Apek was able to ask his dad about the way to that college.So Apek came along with us and showed us the way.

However we still got kinda lost along the way because the roads there I gotta tell you,they are very confusing and you can barely see a building,just trees.If I haven't went on that trip I wouldn't have known that such place existed in Penang.And so Hock kept driving and driving until we reached a town in Balik Pulau.Apek's dad told him that we should look out for a Shell petrol station and a Petronas petrol station after that.That was all he could help because he suggested we ask at Petronas.But heck when we reached the 1st Petronas we had in sight,we were told that we came the wrong way and that we should go back to where we came from and also look out for a very small roundabout.That was where we should find the Petronas Apek's dad mentioned and we found it.We asked again and was able to get some directions from the bobos working there.However,we went the wrong way again.After driving for some time,Hock decided to stop his car for us to ask for directions again at some bobo store.And finally this time,we found our way through to the college.Phew......how glad were we??lol....

Before I came to the college,I thought it was gonna be big,well furnished and things like that since it's new but to my disappointment there were just a few chalet-like buildings and some dewan,well at least from what I saw.The buildings were all one-storey high only.I wonder how they can accomodate students with such skimpy facilities.

Then we went into the office for enquiries.Yea you got it right,all bobos except one a-ne-ne there only.Expected d la actually.We were greeted by a lady.Erm she didn't actually greet us until we started talking to her.We told her were here to enquire about the courses provided in the college.She brought us to the guest room and not long after some fat-ass bobo came in.I don't hate him but it's just the way he does things that irritate me.Take so much time just to get us some bloody brochures which were just outside the room.

Hock and I signed ourselves up for the Pharmacy degree course.As we were leaving the place,I thought to myself that I wouldn't wanna come to a college like this and prayed that I will be offered a course in NUS.However,it was a tough luck.I found out on Thursday that my admission was denied.KNN.I don't know why with my results I was quite confident I would get something.Maybe the courses I chose were too competitive.What to do???What are my results to them???There are dozens of people who got results like mine or even better.This is the world today.The fittest survives.

After all that,we headed back home.Thank you Hock from being the driver and Apek for navigating the way.

One thing I notice is that along our way there,I saw like practically 7-8 mosques and they were like only 100 or 200 metres apart.WTH.Why the fuck do they need so many mosques????Do they have THAT many people to accomodate??Or they have this inter-mosque games where they compete to see who can chant the loudest.KNN anyone living there is gonna die of noise pollution.

I have a story to tell you

I have a story to tell you – it is about a fish and an ocean.

There was a Fish in the Ocean

Said the Fish to the Ocean:
'You can’t see my tears because I’m in the water.'
The Ocean replied to the fish:
'I feel your tears because you’re in my heart.'

I am neither a Fish nor the Ocean, yet I feel your pain when you cry.

Said the Fish to the Ocean:
'I am here I will not leave you because I will die without you.'
The Ocean replied to the fish:
'Without you my existence would have no meaning.'

I am neither a Fish nor the Ocean, yet I will not leave you because I love you.
Said the Fish to the Ocean:
'Without fishes there is nothing in the Ocean.'
The Ocean replied to the fish:
'Without you there is nothing in my life.'

I am neither a Fish nor the Ocean, without me you will still live on but without you, my life has no meaning…..

Said the Fish to the Ocean:
'So how many fishes have you known before me? '
The Ocean replied to the fish:
'You are surely not the first fish I have known, but you will always be the first fish in my heart.'

I am neither a Fish nor the Ocean, and we are not each other’s first but do you know every time when I start wondering; you will be first one in my mind….

Said the Fish to the Ocean:
'Why am I always the one asking you? '
The Ocean replied to the fish:
'Because I like being in your thoughts.'

I am neither a Fish nor the Ocean, but know that you are always in my thoughts.

If I were Fish and you were the ocean; would you let me swim in your heart?

If I am the ocean and you are a fish; you will always be the one in my heart….

I love you

Gg-ed

Well from Noc's and Kit's blog I'm very sure most of you would have known what's going on in the what I'd call the Langkawi Incident.No no no,it's not about Ah Hua don't get it wrong.What I'm gonna write in this post is about some not-so-nice people saying nasty things about other people who's done nothing at all to hurt her.Ah Hua is a nice girl so obviously I won't talk about her here.

So last week my friends and I were on a vacation in Langkawi.We were very happy despite some quarrels and bickering here and there.All in all it was still a good trip........not until we hear of some unpleasant remarks made on us by Ms Bea,one of our friend,Apek's girlfriend.Apek I know you're gonna be mad if you read this but please understand that I don't mean any harm ok??
Why am I being so nice anyway...^^

Let me just briefly describe Ms Bea to you.She's a paranoid insecured ugly-name-giving control freak.Need i say more?

Okay let's get back on track.So initially Ms Bea thought the trip was an all-guys thing.Yea we did lie to Apek about this.In fact there were 3 girls included in the trip.Ok lor our fault lor this one.But you all know why la we lied to him.So when Apek found out,he decided to tell Ms Bea about it because he thought it'd be unfair to her if he didn't.Well fine no harm telling her.

However being the paranoid insecured ugly-name-giving control freak she is,Ms Bea started blogging about it and labelled us with names like F-heads,sluts,chikos,wilted roses,etc etc....
Come on la,what did we do to deserve such names???What's wrong with us calling some female friends along for the trip???You got a problem with us wanting to have fun with our friends???
No matter how much of a control freak you are,this is OUR vacation and you haven't got the least right to stick your nose in it.Even Apek is your boyfriend,you can't be manipulating him like a puppet.He is a human who has a heart,his own thoughts,has things he wants to do,capable of standing on his own,but from what I see,it is because he loves you that he's been putting up with all your crazy antics.He's being over comprimising with you.

I understand that you feel insecure having girls around Apek but but but.......please rest assured nobody is snatching him away from you.Just relax and have a lil' more faith in this relationship.Your ways are just extreme,don't you think so??If you continue on like this,this relationship is going to take its toll on you.

And Kit,you've done a great job kickstarting us to voice out our dissatisfaction.lol.I don't care what Shumei and Amanda have to say to defend her,if she can't even speak for her ownself then she's just a sore loser.Shumei has been nice but Amanda??I think she's just trying to GG with us.Don't you all just hate the way she talks????Like saja mau tunjuk dia mia GG English to us.Like whatever.......

p.s. good job done tl on the trip and I miss it alot

Do You Know Who Ken Lee Is???

Well in case you don't get what she was singing,below are her lyrics with the original lyrics translation......

No one ken to ken to sivmen (No I can't forget this evening)

Nor yon clees toju maliveh (Or your face as you were leaving)

When I gez aju zavateh na nalechoo more (But I guess that's just the way the story goes)

New yonooz tonigh molinigh (You always smile but in your eyes)

Yon sorra shooo (Your sorrow shows)

Yes ee shooo,ooo (Yes it shows)

Ken Leeee......... (I can't live....)

Tulibu dibu douchoo ( If living is without you )

I can't live...,I can't give anymore.....

Ken Leeee.......... (I can't live.....)

Tulibu dibu douchooo (If living is without you)

Ken Leee..... ( I can't live.....)

Ken Leee meju more..... (I can't give anymore....)

Lol how was it?Hope you enjoyed it.Hehe

P.S. Should I change my blog layout?